Principle 10: Be the connector

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We live in such a hyper-competitive world. Even so, the one thing I always notice is everyone is very eager to make introductions. And the people who take the extra time and effort to introduce people we look at as connectors.

Introductions and meeting people are the core of new media’s success and proliferation. Connecting people is an innate desire in many of us.

That Friendster Guy

A couple years ago I briefly met Jonathan Abrams, the guy who started Friendster. He didn’t introduce himself that way. Instead he forced introductions. It was strange, but he brashly made introductions to everyone around him.

If you just watched it for a few minutes, you quickly realized that it was his “thing” and it was obviously a branding strategy. When he walked away he clearly wanted people to say, “Oh, he’s the guy who started Friendster.” The problem is he didn’t care if he knew me or anyone else, nor did he put any value to the introductions. He just repeated people’s names and simply made introductions. Being that he did it so automatically and rote, it came off more as self-serving rather than his being truly interested in the people he was meeting and the benefit they would get from meeting each other.

I found it rather annoying.

I note people like the hosts of the podcast KenRadio, Ken Rutkowski and Andy Abramson, as being true connectors. They both truly go out of their way to make introductions between like-minded people. These introductions are thoughtful in that they take into account each person, what they know, and what they want. They don’t see the introduction as just another person to add to their Friendster, MySpace, or LinkedIn profile.

When you’re a comedian like Dane Cook, who currently has more than 1.7 million friends on MySpace, and all you want to do is make as many personal connections as possible so that you can book your shows, then the Friendster-guy style (see sidebar) of connecting can be effective. In this case, quantity is more important than quality. Cook simply makes as many personal connections as possible so that he can sell CDs, DVDs, and show tickets.

Attend a party and often people will ask, “How do you know so-and-so?” After a few rounds of these “how do you know” questions you and your new friends quickly realize that there’s one person responsible for many of these connections. What comes from these positive experiences with these new people you meet is a newfound respect and admiration for your connector. You begin to look up to that person as being an influential person in the community.

Being a true connector does take effort. Connectors are admired for maintaining relationships and making introductions. Being one or supporting one is important. New media is based on connections, and it’s allowed the connector in many of us to come out.

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